A Writer's Closet

Welcome to the weird flotsam of a writer's mind . . .

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Location: Southern California

Monday, January 09, 2006

Reality mush and mouse revenge

Today is a perfect L.A. day, 80, sunny, clear and dry. I can only imagine what my Chicagoan sister must be enduring, or my other relatives on the east coast while I bask by the pool. Suckers!

I feel a little icky about this, but I now write for a reality TV website! I'm a little creeped out about it because I've always hated reality TV but I'm being sucked in. I've been recapping Dancing With The Stars for Reality Shack (click here to read it), only now I'm tuning in to *gasp* Celebrity Fit Club as well. But that's it, I swear. I will not, will not watch anymore reality TV. Unless I'm getting paid to write about it.

Animals are opening up a can of whoop ass all over the place this week. In Fort Sumner, NM Luciano Mares caught a mouse in his house and threw it into a pile of leaves he had burning in the front yard. On fire, the mouse ran straight back into Mares's house, lighting everything in its path and destroying everything inside. I can't imagine the mouse living through that, but at least he went out with a bang.

In a Die Hard-like sequence a cow in line for the slaughterhouse in Great Falls, Montana jumped the fence, bolted through busy intersections, darted in front of an oncoming train and narrowly missed being hit. With police in full pursuit she then crossed another busy road, nearly got hit by a semi, jumped into an icy river and survived that by climbing up onto a sandbar. Then she gets shot with tranquilizer darts by a vet, shakes it off without dropping, and continues to elude police. Six hours after she escaped she finally walked placidly into a pen officials had set up waiting for her. The employees at the packing plant she was bound for have named her "Molly B" and vow to keep her alive. I would have named her Logan. If you don't get that reference please don't tell me because it means I'm old and you're not.

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